Wednesday, 15 June 2011

Someone should really update this place more often.

I've been thinking a lot.

Not that I don't normally think, just recently I've been thinking a lot. Sometimes I do that. I take a thought and think about it for far too long. Sometimes this is good, sometimes not so much. And some times it's just irrelevant.

Take for instance, something I noticed the other day: The term 'It's the least I could do' is dumb. If you're bragging about only doing the least you can do, you aren't a very nice person. And if you're doing something for someone else, and say that you could not in any way do less, you're just kind of a dick. I say we adopt a phrase more accurate to the situation. Something like "If I did any less, I'd be a dick". This way people know you could do less but choose not to.

Something else to think about: It's 5 o'clock somewhere.

That's what the clock on the wall says. in this room, there are several clocks all labeled with different places. One is labeled "somewhere" and it's stopped at five o'clock. I wonder if this is always accurate. Maybe it is only accurate 24 times a day.

Now how can i justify having a drink at 10:30 AM?

I was reading some eight month old advertisements the other day. It was fun to read what was being sold, and wonder where it currently is now. Did it get sold? Is it now in the trash? Maybe it went to someone I know, and I've seen it. One ad really caught my eye though. It was for a "Rare World War II treasure map." I believe they were asking for 1 million dollars. I found this funny as it was in the local paper of my small town.  I figure it must have been a joke. But what if it wasn't? I then started to wonder if it found a home. If someone bought the map, had they found the treasure?

Maybe I'll call the number and find out.

It's the least I can do.

Tuesday, 31 May 2011

Why are couches more comfy than beds?

I find a good sofa gives me a better sleep than most beds. Maybe I've only ever slept in sub-par beds, or maybe my friends just own really nice couches. I know that there are exceptions to the rule; I myself own a below average comfort sofa, it is not a place you want to spend the night.

The rest I just had on this couch was under four hours, and yet I'm more well rested than I have been in the last month. I do not know why this is. Maybe I need a couch shaped bed.

Or a bed shaped couch. I'll add both to the list of things I need to buy.

Something I can remove from my list of things to buy: A grappling hook. I was convinced it was a good purchase by the phase "Come on, it's a god-damned grappling hook!" How can one argue with that reasoning? So in the next few days, I'll be trusting my life to a humorously shaped piece of metal, and a length of rope.

It was eight dollars. This can only end well.

Now I just need something to grapple onto. I think I'll find a place that isn't very high up the first couple of trials, just on the off chance that an eight dollar grappling hook is not up to industry standards.

Who actually gets to choose industry standards for products like this? Is there a team of ninjas, pirates, vikings, or orcs that put it through a rigorous testing process? And what about beds? Do they have a team of orcs as well? Maybe I can get a job as a mattress tester. Or even better, a sofa tester.

Wednesday, 18 May 2011

Introductions and What-Not.

I am currently sitting in a cafe, watching the town wake up.

It's just shy of 8:30AM, and the town is still asleep. Not that the town ever fully wakes up, but it does stir a bit, sometimes it even rolls over before going back to the blissful dream world of a small town.

Small-ish, anyways.
So I sit here, and I type. I watch people come in and out of the cafe. I have a good view of the street from where I sit, so sometimes I watch that. I watch the keyboard when I type. Not much gets past this untrained eye. And if it did, well, how would I know?

The clouds outside have a look about them. A look that dares me to go out there, like they have rain just waiting for me. I feel like calling their bluff. Maybe I'll go for a walk down the street. I might even walk down a different street. There are only two streets worth walking on in this town.

Maybe it is small.

As I finish the dregs of my coffee, I convince myself to wait another half hour before I go for a walk. I might spend that time working on a side project. I have too many of those. Or I might just continue to watch the street get busier. As I decide, I get another cup of coffee.

It's time to wake up.